


Shadowhunters Drabbles

by Baekhanded



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Dramatic Jace Wayland, Fluff, Insults, M/M, Payback, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, amused simon lewis, animal facts!, cursing, domestic fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-12-23 04:15:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11981922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baekhanded/pseuds/Baekhanded
Summary: A small collection of some shadowhunter drabbles from some cute prompts i found on tumblr!





	1. “What do you mean you don’t read my texts if they’re over four lines…”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! This is the first time i'm posting anything here, so i'm not sure how it'll be or look, and I don't know how to do paragraph indentations without the tab button, so if anyone could help me out i would be forever grateful!
> 
> Please let me know what you think!!

           “What do you mean you don’t read my texts if they’re over four lines…?”

  
           “Don’t give me that look Simon, I don’t mean to do it! I’m just busy! I don’t have the time to read your manuscripts!” Jace sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  
           “Jace! It was three sentences -- max!” Simon couldn’t believe the sheer _nerve_ of his boyfriend. What kind of boyfriend doesn’t read all of his boyfriend’s text?!  
“Simon, calm down, it’s not that I don’t _want_ to read all the weird shit you send me, I just --  you always send it at the worst times. I check it, to make sure you’re not dying or in danger or have done something stupid, and if I know you’re safe I kinda….just...put it out of my mind…” Jace hated admitting to it, he knew he’d have to eventually, he just hoped that the ‘eventually’ would have been further in the future. . .and interrupted by a demon attack. 

  
          “So what you’re saying is,” Simon started, eyeing Jace down, “you just read the first parts of the message, and if it doesn’t set off any warning bells, if it’s just what you consider as my “Nerd Business”, you ignore it? Forget it? You never even check back?”

  
          Jace shrugged, a little embarrassed, “Sorry, Si...it’s...it’s just not what i’m used to...Alec and I...we don’t text much, and when we do it’s moreso for confirmations or affirmations. I can show you if you don’t believe me! I don’t think I have a single message in here that is longer than two lines.”  


          That…  


          That actually made sense. The Lightwoods… well they weren’t the most talkative bunch.

  
          “I believe you, it’s just-- I’m not used to that?” Simon explained, a little unsure if he was conveying his thoughts properly; almost feeling bad for bringing it up in the first place.

  
          “Hey, no, none of that, ok? Don’t make that face. I’ll -- hey, look at me,”Jace cupped Simon’s face, guiding his eyes to meet his own. “I’ll do better just give me some time, alright? I’ll work on it.”


	2. It’s my fish…I told you to feed it…you didn’t…so, no, I don’t know where we stand right now.

     “It’s my fish”

 

      “Simon i--”

  
     “ ** _My_**  fish, Jace-- it’s my fish, I told you to feed it, you didn’t. So, no, Jace, I don’t know where we stand right now.”

  
     Now  _that_  was dramatic, Jace couldn’t be _lieve_  this, it was a fish? It was just a fish? He forgot to feed Simon’s fish ONCE. Well, maybe it was a bit  _more_ than once, but it’s not like the fish died! As far as he knows…

     “Look, Simon, I’m  _sorry_ I really am, but still, babe, it’s just a fish.” Jace tried, he really didn’t see what the big problem was

     “Just a fish??  _Just a fish?!_ Jace, this  _fish_ is a  _symbol_! It- it’s a symbol of a really important date!” Simon was practically in hysterics.

     Jace tried to sooth him with more apologies, never an excuse, he knew he had fucked up, he just didn’t see why it  _mattered_ , if he had forgotten to feed his cat? Maybe, MAYBE Jace could see the problem, but not a fish. He kept trying to get Simon to explain  _why_ this fish is so important, but ultimately Simon just ended their conversation and refused to answer any text Jace sent.  Sighing, Jace let it go for now, sending one more apology text before retiring for the night.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

     Simon woke early and exhausted, maybe he had overreacted? Sir Glub was, ultimately, ok, but it’s the principle of the thing, isn’t it? If Jace had asked Simon to feed  _his_ pet fish he wouldn’t question it, he’d feed the damn thing even if he didn’t care about it. Hell, he’d feed it even if he  _resented_ the damn animal. Maybe it’s how he was raised? Pets just didn’t hit the radar? Did it even  _matter_? He lay staring at the ceiling for awhile longer until his phone started to go off, he sighed again and rolled over to see who it was, not sure if he was ready yet to let Jace off the hook. To his surprise he saw Izzy’s name.

     Confused, he answered the phone, “Izzy? Is everything alright?”  
 “I was going to ask you that! Jace told me what happened, is the fish alright?” She asked, obviously concerned for him and the fish. Simon was touched and couldn’t help but laugh.

     He nodded as he let out a soft, “Yeah… thanks for calling Izzy..”

     He could practically  _hear_ her rolling her eyes, “Of course i’m gonna call! I know the significance of the little guy, even if Jace apparently hasn’t worked it out yet! I’m not gonna try and defend him, cause what he did was stupid, he should know better by now.”

     Simon nodded though she couldn’t see, “I mean, no harm no foul right?”

      “No harm DEFINITE foul! He’s gotta learn eventually, Si. I’ll talk to him alright? Keep ignoring him for the day, alright? Write a new angsty song about idiot boyfriends and pet fish.” She laughed, getting him to as well. She always had a knack for making him feel better.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

     Izzy was putting him through  _hell._ He never would have  _imagined_ forgetting to feed a fish would cause this much grief. He sure as hell would never make this mistake again. Deep down he knew he deserved it, for whatever reason Simon loved the damn fish, and Jace loves Simon.

     “Fuck this,” he hisses as he grabs up his jacket and keys, booking it to the nearest shops. He’s gonna make it up to him, some big stupid romantic gesture. Simon can’t pretend he doesn’t exist if he shows up at his doorstep right? Well he could leave him out in the cold, but he doubts simon could handle that….at least not for very long.

     While he waited in the checkout line, the reason Simon was so attached to the damned fish finally hit him, “I’m a fucking  _idiot.”_

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

     Simon was sitting on his floor staring at Sir Glub, petting Yossarian when there was loud knocking on his door. He furrowed his eyebrows and carefully moved the cat and stood up going to the door. He wasn’t expecting company but from the phone call earlier he wouldn’t be surprised to know Izzy came over.

     When he opened the door he couldn’t help but let out a startled laugh as he was met face to face with the biggest black goldfish he had ever seen. He could barely see who was behind it, but alas he didn’t need to see to know it was Jace. A peace offering maybe?

     “Jace what the hell?” He managed to get out through his laughter as Jace handed the giant thing over. He looked at the man over the little black mass in his hands and saw that wasn’t the only thing Jace carried. He looked completely windswept and he was carrying a LOT of things. Was that a balloon bouquet?

     “Look, Simon, I’m an idiot, we know this, you still love me-- even though you know i’m a huge fucking idiot. You know I’m sorry about not feeding the fish, I know I wasn’t very….. Genuine about my apology, but I am-- I’m so fucking sorry I forgot to feed him, I’m so sorry about being such an idiot. I’m unbelievably sorry about not realizing what the damn thing meant. I’m a slow learner, apparently-- but I do learn, and you don’t have to say anything, you don’t even have to accept these gifts, but I just want you to know I am sorry, and that I love you, even if it took me awhile to realize symbolic meanings of fish.” Jace finished in a rush, completely sincere and almost out of breath by the end of his tirade.

     Simon stared in shock as Jace handed over a medium sized box which contained the balloon bouquet as well as something else.

     After handing over the box Jace turned to leave. Simon didn’t want him to leave.

     “Jace! W-wait! Hold on! Just, please come in,” He asked, moving to the side and holding the door open for him.

     Jace was a little shocked, but nodded and went inside. Simon put the gifts on the kitchen counter and led Jace further into the house.

     “You really didn’t know why he was important?” Jace shook his head and crossed his arms.

     “I just thought it was a fish, Si-- it never even occurred to me it could  _mean_ something, but I get it now, and i’m sorry for not thinking before,” He says regretfully, eyes downcast, “I-- in the box, that bag, it’s kind of an apology to him too, if you’ll have it of course.”

     Simon rolled his eyes as he made his way back to the box in the kitchen, “Of course i’ll have it you jerk.” He peeked inside the box and pulled out the bag to see a little black popeyed goldfish just like the giant plush Jace had given him. It was probably the cutest fish he had ever seen. Well, second cutest fish. He looked to Jace, who still seemed to be embarrassed about the whole situation, “What’s this about then?”

     “I….well, I thought...maybe-- maybe he was lonely, and since I fucked up, might as well apologize with a friend, I also got some high end fish food, which I wasn’t expecting. I still don’t get the difference, but i’ll love the fish the same way I love you.” Jace lifted his eyes as he stepped toward Simon where he was adding his newest addition to the fishbowl.

     Simon didn’t notice his approach but didn’t startle when he felt Jace’s hand on his waist. He turned to look into Jace’s golden eyes and couldn't help but smile softly. Their lips met in a gentle kiss. He loved this man and this man loved him, even if he didn’t remember to feed their fish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fish plush! https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/41eEr2l3QFL.jpg


	3. It was pouring and you ran off with our SHARED umbrella, leaving me to get soaked!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lovely boys get caught in some rain...kinda

     It was still pouring rain outside. It had been at least a half hour since Simon got home, he’d had enough time to change his clothes and dry his hair. He was no longer sopping wet but he still felt the chill from the water and winds on his skin. He’d be the first to admit, he wasn’t  _ as  _ soaked as he could have been, he’d had an umbrella-- but really, what does an umbrella matter when there are winds! Making sure that icy downpour defies the odds and hits you anyway!

 

     Simon stared outside a moment longer, watching the rain pound harshly down before turning towards the kitchen and beginning to boil a pot of tea.

 

     Not long after the waters been put on the door crashes open, letting in the thunderous sound of the rain and the howling winds. The door is slammed shut amongst some pretty colorful cursing. Simon waits patiently in the kitchen.

 

     He listens as more curses fill the entryway. He listens as shoes are removed. And socks.a jacket. He listens to the telltale sound of bare feet patter closer and closer until he’s face to face with the drowned golden countenance of his boyfriend.

 

     “What the  _ hell  _ Simon?!” He yells, and Simon fights to keep the grin off his face, he truly does, but from the darkening of Jace’s expression he doesn’t seem to succeed.

 

     “What ‘what’ Jace?” The pot starts to hiss and Simon’s grateful. He turns his back on the angry puddle of a man to start making up two cups of tea.

 

     “It started  **_pouring_ ** rain our and you just took off!!” Jace huffed, crossing his arms looking proper indignant, still dripping all over their floor. “With our  **_shared_ ** umbrella, I might add! You left me to get soaked Simon! And you’re laughing!”

 

     He was. He truly was laughing, “I  _ am  _ sorry about that, but you were literally just saying how much rain  _ didn’t  _ bother you! Besides, I had a reason for getting here first!”

 

     He  _ was  _ sorry for just taking off, and he wasn’t necessarily trying to placate Jace, his actions will prove exactly what he was planning. Jace made another indignant noise, Simon could hear him moving his arms, his hands were probably on his hips now. It was time to proceed with The Plan.

 

     With his back still turned to Jace, Simon grabbed the towel he brought with him just for this reason. He kept it below his waist as he turned, so it stayed hidden behind the counter as he stepped around and up to Jace. Their eyes stayed locked, a spark of confusion igniting in those golden hues as he approached.

 

     “What’s this…?” He asked as Simon smiled and reached his hands up to drape the towel over Jace’s golden hair.

 

     “Well, I knew you’d be a little baby about this, so I ran off so I could be prepared, now shut up and let me take care of you so you don’t catch a cold.” He said as he pulled Jace closer by the ends of the towel, pressing a kiss to the cold tip of Jace’s pink nose.

 

     Jace’s eyes widened and pink brushed across his cheeks. Simon stopped his complaints in their tracks by kissing him once, softly, and starting to vigorously dry his hair. Laughter rung out while Simon worked on his hair, then leaving the towel covering the blonde head he made quick work of getting those wet clothes off his figure. Once stripped and quickly redressed in the softest pair of pajamas he owned Simon shooed Jace to the couch while he grabbed their tea and quickly came to settle in at Jace’s side.

 

     Jace wrapped an arm around Simon’s waist while his other draped a large quilt over the two of them. He pressed a kiss to Simon’s cheek as he turned the tv on to something Jace couldn’t care less about.

 

     “I’m not a baby about this you know.” He said, some time later, after the tea had been drunk and Simon was lying contently on Jace’s chest. Jace’s large hands rubbing up and down the length of Simon’s spine.

 

     “You get sick easy, don’t even try to deny it, i’ve seen first hand, a little rain and your macho attitude and you’re down for the count and acting like it’s gonna be the end. I thought i’d nip that in the bud and get some snuggling in the meantime.” Simon grinned up at Jace’s nonplussed expression.

 

     Jace settled on amusement, “Well, thanks, I think.”

 

     “You are very welcome.”

 

     Soft laughter filled the room as the two met once again in a kiss, sleep claiming them not much later. Both warm and content in the arms of the man they loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think ive only got about 4? more prompts after this one, so if anyone likes this and wants to shoot some at me please please come send me an ask at mu tumblr! (link below)! Ill do saphael too! and jasaphael! and malec!! but only if you dont mind it with their book descriptions? I love the cast of the show but theyll never be the characters to me. IF you really want me to try my hand at something and want the show cast ill try and do that for yall!! Just please help me write for yall!
> 
> http://yeollie-bells.tumblr.com/ask


	4. You just cut in front of an old lady, and then you proceeded to flip her off in the rearview…all the while speeding.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, you just shouldn't let your boyfriend drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've almost reached the end of my prompts! If you want me to write something for you come visit me at yeollie-bells.tumblr.com/ask and leave your requests!!

     “Jace! Slow the hell down!”

 

     This was a mistake, this was possible the  _ biggest  _ mistake. Why did he even think for a single  _ second  _ Jace could drive them  _ anywhere _ . He must have temporarily lost his mind, that’s the only explanation. He  _ knew  _ Jace couldn’t drive, or, more accurately, wouldn't drive according to the  _ laws of the land _ .

 

     Simon handed over his keys not even ten minutes ago and he’s been white knuckling the grab handle ever since. Jace refused to listen to reason, declaring he ‘knew what he was doing’.

 

_ Knows what he’s doing my ass. This assholes gonna get us all killed and I can’t even die! _

 

     “Jace!-- Just!-- Jace just pull over!!”

 

     Unsurprisingly, he did the exact opposite. The engine revved once more as he sped around a slower car, jerking to the left then right quickly-- almost ramming head on into a  _ different  _ car.

 

     “You just cut in front of an old lady! and - oh that’s nice,  _ you’re  _ the one speeding! You don’t  _ deserve  _ to flip her off!”

 

     Jace still didn’t answer but  _ thank the gods  _ he’s pulled over.

 

     “So what? She was going like 5 miles an hour, that’s illegal.”

 

_      Did….did he really just…..? _

 

_      “Jace,  _ you literally broke every fucking law I know of in ten minutes, you’re never driving again, not on my watch. No shut up, I don’t care what Alec lets you do, I know care how ‘awesome’ you are, you can’t just-!!”

 

     Simon was literally flabbergasted, he didn’t know what to say to this dumbass. Jace just seemed to shrug it off as he tossed the keys back to Simon.

 

     “Oh shut up, we made it back safely that’s what matters, I’ll make it up to you.”

 

     Simon shakily got out of the car, prying his fingers off the handle, “How about make it up to me by  _ learning how to fucking drive.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've almost reached the end of my prompts! If you want me to write something for you come visit me at yeollie-bells.tumblr.com/ask and leave your requests!!


	5. What's the best way to get your boyfriend to pay attention to you? Animal facts of course!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's the best way to get your boyfriend to pay attention to you? Animal facts of course!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prompt from the lovely Hypercopykitty from tumblr!   
> "I'd say a prompt with Jasaphael where Jace annoys the hell out of Raphael like "Did you know that flamingos are born white?""

     “Did you know flamingos are born white?”

 

     Raphael had had it. This was the end of the fucking line. He didn’t give a damn about flamingos he certainly didn’t care about what fucking  _ color  _ they were when they were born. He was going to dig a deep, deep hole, the deepest fucking hole and bury Jace in it. He’d bury Simon in it too while he was at it. It’s all his fault. The two must have banned together to find out just how to fucking annoy the hell out of Raphael it was the only explanation.

 

     It all started three days ago, when they were helping Simon clean out his old stuff. They had finally made it through half the bookshelf when Simon’s laughter caught their attention.

 

     “What’s so funny over there?” Jace had called in his spot underneath a wardrobe’s worth of old socks underwear and tee shirts (that they had  _ barely  _ managed to persuade Simon to part with “Simon this is a children’s shirt” “It’s got sentimental value!” “It’s practically rags!”  _ “Sentimental value!!”) _

 

     “This book, I remember when my mom got it for me. She was so busy all the time and couldn’t answer my questions, so she bought me this book of thousands of...well, useless facts.” Simon laughed as he ran his fingers along the book’s spine.

 

     “Useless facts?” Raphael couldn’t puzzle what could possibly constitute as a useless fact.

 

     “Well, it’s mostly stuff for kids, you know? Just some weird little facts, mostly about animals and stuff.” Simon shrugged as he finally settled the book into their agreed upon ‘donate’ pile.

 

     Jace fought his way out of the old clothing to sit by Simon in the Circle of Books and picked up the ‘useless fact’ book. Simon and Raphael thought nothing of it as their blonde haired paramour flipped through the book. The fact having left their minds shortly after when a mismanaged pile of  _ things  _ tipped over a chair and completely covered Raphael. The other two having to fish him back out to safety between their breathless laughter.

 

 

 

     But that was three days ago, and Jace’s somewhat cute interest in the book had drastically changed. He had practically read the damn thing to Raphael and a quick glance confirms he’s not even close to being done with them. If he had kept his damn mouth shut, just keeping with the sparse, cute puffs of laughter, Raphael would have been more than happy to humor him, spend more time with him while Simon was off doing God knows what with Clary and Isabelle. But no, no this  _ pendejo  _ was reading most of the whole thing out to him. It’s been constant. For days. He knows so much about things that will never come up in conversation,  _ have  _ never come up in conversation.

 

     “Did you know-” A muffled groan from Raphael, “- the chinese soft-shelled turtle urinates through its mouth?”

 

     “I swear if you keep running  _ your  _ mouth you’ll end up the same!” That was it, that was the straw that broke the metaphorical camel’s back. “I don’t care about anything in that book, I don’t care about how the fucking soft shelled turtle pisses, and if you try to tell me another damn thing I  _ will  _ shut you up!”

 

     Jace stared at him in shocked silence before a grin slowly turned the corners of his mouth, “Shut me up huh? What would you do  if I said that polar bears are left handed.”

 

     Raphael ripped the book from Jace’s hands and tossed it to the side then none too gently cupped his face and pressed his mouth against Jace’s growing grin. Jace’s hands found his waist as he pulled him closer. Deepening the kiss Jace delighted in the little nips of teeth- Raphael was angry and Jace was going to drink it all in.

 

 

 

     When Simon comes back home the house is silent and he immediately worries.

 

      “Jace? Raph?”

 

     When no answer meets him he searches through the house and ends up finding the two on a couch in the study. Simon takes quick note of Jace’s wolfish grin, Raphael’s grumpy, disheartened frown, the numerous bites across Jace’s throat and the lack of space between them.

 

     “I win~” Jace said breezily the moment his eyes met Simon’s

 

     Raphael frowned even harder at him, “What does he mean by that.”

 

     Simon just shakes his head as he joins his two boyfriends on the couch and kisses each one.

 

 

 

     Later, after Raphael’s left the two to themselves for some ‘important business’ Simon playfully punches Jace’s shoulder, “I can’t believe you knew that would work.”

 

     Jace just grins and presses a kiss to Simon’s nose, “What can I say, my skills are vast, not even Raph could ignore me too long.”

 

     Simon just scoffs, “He wasn’t  _ ignoring  _ you.”

 

     “Ignoring, not giving me the attention I so desperately desire, same thing,”

       “What am I gonna do with you”

 

     “I can think of several things~”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me prompts! Here or at my tumblr!  
> yeollie-bells.tumblr.com/ask


	6. “Rock-paper-scissors. Loser gets up and makes the coffee.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepy mornings and coffee

     The sun was starting to peek through the curtains and the sound of birds awakening to begin their songs drifted through the gentle breeze fluttering throughout the room. Simon groaned as a ray of sun shone directly into his eyes. He rolled over to burrow more thoroughly into the blankets and the blonde beside him. But that relief was short lived as the sun passed his now burrowed form and hit Jace’s eyes. His familiar groan brought a slight, sleepy smile to Simon’s face as the blonde wrapped his arms around Simon’s waist and nuzzled against his hair.

 

     “‘S’it morning already?”

 

     Simon hummed an affirmative and peeked up at his blonde. Jace’s eyes remained closed and a small furrow formed between his brows.

     “We need coffee…” Jace groaned, eyes opening to slits to look at Simon.

 

     He scrunched his nose up, “I don’t really want to get up.”

 

     Jace grumbled in agreement, “Alright, how about...rock-paper-scissors. Loser gets up and makes the coffee?”

 

     “Why must it always come down to a game?”

 

     “Cause you love it and you know it, now let’s have at it.”

 

     “Ok, fine, fair.”

 

     The two sat up enough to look each other in the eye and assure themselves there wan’t any cheating. Hands behind their backs, Simon called out, “Rock-paper-scissors!” and the two threw their hands- Simon with paper and Jace scissors. Jaces entire face brightened much like the sun was as Simon’s fell completely.

 

     “Best two of three!”

 

     Jace just laughed and shook his head, “Sorry, no can do babe, I won that fair and square.”

 

     Simon just frowned at a very content, very awake Jace as he lounged back on their bed. Simon huffed and crossed his arms, stewing in his loss a moment longer while Jace laughed at him, then finally made his way from their warm cocoon. He shivered as his warm feet touched the cool floor.

     He trudged into the kitchen and manhandled their old coffeemaker to do as its name indicated. He frowned at the old clunky beast as it roared and hissed and just was just overall dramatic. When it finally began spitting out their coffee he felt warm arms wrap around his waist and a chin hook over his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck. Simon couldn’t help but smile at the affection- Jace was like a cuddly puppy in the early mornings. He rested his hands over Jace’s on his waist and leaned back against his strong chest, “What’re you doin in here, you won remember?”

 

     “Can’t really consider it a win if I can’t have you there to enjoy it with.”

 

     “What a sap.”

 

     He felt Jace laugh more than heard him. A kiss was pressed to his throat and his eyes met Jace’s soft gold.

 

     "Yeah, but i'm your sap."

 

     The two shared a kiss as their coffee machine beeped madly in front of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop me a new prompt!
> 
> yeollie-bells.tumblr.com/ask


	7. “Remember? At the movie theater? When you got so scared you dumped your drink all over me?”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never let your boyfriends see your weaknesses.
> 
> Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Things got so freaking hectic around here! my grandma got injured right while my mom was healing and my best friend is visiting now too!! Ive been bUSY!

     Why did he agree to this? How did they get him to agree to this? Why was  _ anyone  _ going to see this? Why did anyone  _ want  _ to see this? Didn’t the world have enough horror in it without seeing  _ more  _ for  _ fun _ ? Why did it have to be  _ clowns _ ?!

 

     His first mistake was actually playing along, that he wasn’t afraid of some stupid clown, he was Jace Lightwood! He wasn’t afraid of anything! (Read: He was afraid of at least one (1) thing) His next mistake was not making up some excuse so he  _ didn’t have to go. _ He should’ve asked Alec to fake a call for help. He should’ve done  _ anything _ but what he did.

 

     It was all fine and dandy until halfway through the damn movie, he is  _ never  _ going to live this down. Even Raphael was teasing him. He’s going to have to move and change his name again, he’s already had four, what’s another one? He could move to- to fucking Iceland. Maybe he could become a hermit, or a sheep herder in some remote area.

 

     Yeah.

 

     Yeah that’s what he’ll do.

 

     Simon and Raphael would never be able to find him there! He wouldn’t have to suffer through any more ‘jokes’ at his expense! He is definitely going to start planning his escape, he’ll give them a couple of weeks, just to see if they’re gonna fucking  _ cool it  _ so he doesn’t  _ have  _ to go and pick up a new name and identity somewhere. Maybe, just maybe his boyfriends will spare him.

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

 

     They’d been good. Almost too good. He was a little suspicious. Never, in their entire  _ lives- _ ok, maybe not their  **lives,** but ever since he had known them, they had  _ never  _ behaved this long. No teasing looks or jabs, no secret whispering or  _ anything.  _ They had to be up to something right? Right?

 

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

 

     Months had passed since that fateful day. The day Raphael and Simon had not spoken of, the day Jace was trying to forget-- had successfully forgotten! It was all going nicely. Nice and smooth. Nice and calm. No mention of the Moment That Shall Not Be Named.

 

     The three were just lazing about with their other friends and family. It was a nice, quiet night in when it all went to  _ shit.  _ Jace was dozing while he idly listened to Simon, Alec, Izzy and Clary talked quietly amongst themselves while Magnus and Raphael read nearby, tuning in and out of the conversation whenever something would pique their interest. The soft conversation had a peaceful moment of silence when Raphael spoke up, saying the words Jace would  _ never _ live down.

 

     “Hey, mi sol, remember? At the movie theatre?”

 

      Jace’s blood ran cold as his eyes snapped open.

 

     “When you got so scared you dumped your drink all over us?”

 

     All conversation ceased as a cheshire grin spread and the words fell from Raphael’s lips behind his book.

 

     Everyone immediately began asking questions.

 

     “What movie was it?”

 

     “Jace what the hell?”

 

     “You actually got scared brother~? What scared you so bad!”

 

     “Oh now I’m definitely interested, tell us what happened Jace.”

 

     “Yeah, Jace. Tell em what happened.”

 

     Jace’s eyes met Raphael’s. He scowled as he noted the devilish grin tilting up that pretty mouth and he looked to Simon- who absolutely  _ failed  _ at looking contrite at  _ all. _ The little fuckers. He was  _ so  _ going to get them back over this. If it was the last thing he ever does. He  _ will _ get them back.

 

     He tried to play nonchalant with a shrug, “I wasn’t  _ scared  _ asshole, I was simply startled, just like everyone else was. And I didn’t spill my drink on you two!”

 

     “Jace don’t lie!”

 

     “Yeah! You can’t think we’re gonna believe that!”

 

     “Sorry Jace, but I think it really did,” Clary cut in, “he sent me pictures of the pants after it happened, he just never told me how.”

 

     “Until now, eh~?” Magnus’ eyes glinted as he peered at the inhabitants of his house.

     Jace valiantly fought the burning pink creeping up his neck, “I wasn’t scared! I was just surprised by the damn face!”

 

     “What face?!”

 

     “Stop stringing us on just tell us!”

 

     “The clown.” Raphael said simply, pretending to still be reading his book.

 

     “Clown?”

 

     “It got you Jace? Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.”

 

     Jace’s face heated up, “It’s fucking face just fucking popped out of the screen!! How else was I supposed to react?!”

 

     Everyone broke down into laughter, save Alec- who just seemed used to his foolishness, and Clary- who seemed apologetic.

 

     “It’s not funny assholes!”

 

     “It kind of is!!” Izzy wheezed.

 

     Simon walked over to Jace, patting his shoulder, penitent. Jace just glared up at Simon’s pretty, pretty brown eyes. He tried to shrug the hand off but Simon just replaced them into his hair, gently scritching to sooth him.

 

     “You’ve been planning this, haven’t you?” Jace grumbled, resigning himself to his fate.

 

     “Maybe? Raphael might have, as payback for tricking him that one time…”

 

     “You were in on that too you know jerk.”

 

     Simon just laughed and shook his head, laying a gentle kiss to Jace’s golden tresses.

 

     “Maybe so, but you’re the instigator.”

 

     “I’ll get you both back for this, I hope you know that.”

 

     “I know you’ll try Jace, I know you’ll try.”


	8. “You’re hungover. You’re not dying.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace has no recollection of this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long as i thought it was gonna be but i like it! I think its quite funny, i could be persuaded to add more if anyone would want it!

     Never let it be said that Jace Wayland-Morgenstern-Lightwood-Herondale isn't a drama queen. He’s probably the biggest drama queen to exist. The Queen of queens. The  _ most  _ dramatic. You’d think he’d never been drunk before, never had a hangover. Simon’s seen the man drink, he  _ knows  _ he’s had hangovers before. But looking at him you’d think it was the first offence. If it wasn’t so damn  _ funny  _ Simon might be annoyed. As it is, though, he’s just really hella amused.

 

     The overly dramatic groans coming from their room just made Simon smile and stifle a giggle as he made his way back to the blonde still laying in bed. He quietly padded his way and sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through Jace's blonde curls.

 

     “Hey there, how’re you feeling?” Simon never said he’d be nice about this.

 

     Another dramatic, pained groan.

 

     “Simon.

 

     Simon i’m dying.

 

     Remember me as I was, not this husk of my former glory.”

 

     Simon barely refrained from rolling his eyes, “Jace, babe, you’re hungover. You’re not dying.”

 

     “No, Simon, Simon i’m dying.” Jace wheezed out, cracking an eye open to peer up at Simon’s face.

 

     Simon pet Jace’s head once more before giving it a little smack, which caused another pained groan. “Let me help you, you drama queen.”

 

     Jace shot a very viscous glare Simon's way as he got back up to fetch the medicine and water he had set out earlier, then instructed the blonde up and to take his medicine. Jace kept the glare up throughout. Though honestly, it was more a pout than a glare, but Jace will deny it till the day he dies. He really is a child.

 

     Jace continues to moan and groan, claiming Simon’s lap as the perfect pillow for his complaining. Simon humors him and pets his hair, trying to coax him back into sleep. Spoiler Alert: It works. Jace sleeps a couple more hours while Simon plays games on his phone above him, keeping a hand in the blond curls. When Jace wakes hes bleary eyed and a little confused.

 

     “What the fuck.” His voice is sleep rough, Simon’s favorite.

 

     Usually.

 

     “You were dying, remember?” A grin slowly started to spread on Simon’s face as Jace stared blankly with growing horror at realization.

 

     “I didn’t, that was a fucking dream!”

 

     “It wasn’t a dream Mr. Remember Me As I Was.” Simon was full on laughing as Jace looked on in paralyzed Horror.

 

     "This doesn't leave the house Simon I swear by the Angel!!"  
     

     Simon just continued howling in laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come talk to me on tumblr!  
> yeollie-bells.tumblr.com
> 
> Also!! I have a halloween/autumn-y one in the works for Saphael!! it wont be too long either i dont think unfortunately... If anyone has any halloween costume ideas for the two please let me know!


	9. “I’m not wearing a mask. I don’t care about your fetish.” - “It’s not a fetish, IT’S HALLOWEEN”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shoulda just gone with the mask Raph, shoulda just gone with the mask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not even gonna lie im laughing so much at this i think im clever
> 
> I also havent seen star wars in a long fucking time so im sorry

Simon loved fall. He loved it with a passion. He loved the colors, the smells- hell he even loved the cold cold weather. He loved the sweaters and leaves. But most of all he loved Halloween. The costumes- the candy; the pure joy everyone seemed to exhibit in Halloween stores. Halloween somehow seemed to bring out the best in everyone around, unlike Christmas, which seemed to bring out the worst. Even being Jewish and not being subjected to the horror of Christmas, Simon wasn’t  blind. The mad dashing to get the biggest and best of everything, stampeding people to death for a toaster? Yeah, not into that. Halloween though? Kids all dressed up and asking for candy? Cute. Themed parties? Never invited but still hella awesome! Scary movies? Two boyfriends to cuddle? What could be better than that.

 

What he didn’t count for was the pure  _ resistance  _ Raphael would exhibit. What the hell? Is he being played? How can Raph  _ not  _ know it was Halloween time?

 

“I’m not wearing a mask,” Raphael huffed, eyes narrowing as he crossed his arms, “I don’t care about your fetish.”

 

Simon’s mouth dropped in near horror, “F-fetish? Raphael what the  _ fuck  _ it’s not a fetish it’s halloween!”

 

“I don’t care what you call it “Fetish” “Halloween” i’m not wearing a mask.”

 

Simon sighed, irritation crawling its way to the surface, “Raph, come on, don’t be difficult.”

 

“I’m not being difficult idiota, I’m telling you. I. Will. Not. Wear. A. Mask.” Raphael growled out, arms crossed eyes narrowing.

 

“Alright, alright, how about….makeup? Instead? Izzy could do it? Please Raph something?” Let it be known that Simon was not above begging.

 

Raphael stared him down but Simon wouldn’t back down. Putting on his best pleading puppy dog eyes he maintained eye contact until Raphaels walls were worn thin. Raphael’s jaw twitched and his shoulders raised briefly before he let out a huge sigh, the official mark of defeat.

 

“Fine, for you I will let you do something, but nothing ridiculous or i’ll have to kill you.” Raphael glared while Simon tried  _ valiantly  _ not to cheer in his face.

 

“Sounds like a deal to me! No take backs Raph!” He yelled and ran off, calling up Izzy. It was just a slight hitch in his plan. He had already come up with something absolutely  _ genius. _

 

Raphael was going to  _ kill him.  _ But Simon’s last moment were going to be the  _ best  _ moments.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What. The. Hell. Have. You. Done. To. Me.”

 

Simon was  _ so  _ proud of himself.

 

“Don’t look at me like that what the hell Simon!?” Raphael was  _ furious _ .

 

“Well...you said no masks…”

 

“So you thought to make me a fucking star princess?”

 

Simon was in  _ stitches  _ laughing. He knew Raphael could pull it off, but it was still something else seeing his Raphael dressed up as Padmé Amidala, “She’s a Queen Raph!! Not a Princess!”

 

“I cannot be _ lieve  _ I agreed to this,” Raphael crossed his arms, glaring with the  strength of a thousand suns in Simon’s direction, “I should  _ end  _ you.”

 

“You should, but you wont, cause you love me, and you made a deal Raph!” Simon grinned and Raphael’s ire decreased  _ maybe  _ an iota.

 

“.........Fine, lets….lets jsut get this vergüenza over with. The sooner I can be out of this and the public eye the better.”

 

Simon smiled at 100 watt happiness and took Raphael’s arm in his, “This way then my Queen.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raph was gonna be vader! But hey no masks!
> 
> This is pretty much one of my last prompts here!! If you want more please come toss some at me at  
> yeollie-bells.tumblr.com !


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